Dave Short

Singing to a bar in the handicapped-accessible stall of the Lomasson Center. This is what I found myself doing tonight. Of course, I wasn’t alone. John was there — he was the one who got me into it. It turns out that the bar resonates sympathetically to the B_b in the octave below Middle C. How John found out about this remains a mystery. He obstinately insists that it was his brother, David, who discovered this strange fact. That still makes me wonder why he would be singing while taking a shit.

After that little escapade I went to the library. I had a hankerin’ for some Bob Dylan. But with John at his swing class and Carrie home in Kalispell, I didn’t have any way to check out books. So I decided to see just how high my overdue fees were.

I had issue with these fees. Last semester I had a bibliography to write about William Wordsworth. I checked out books and took them home to Corvallis for the weekend, getting a ride from my mom. Now, obivously this meant that I could take all the books home but not back because it was a long walk. Unfortunately, I checked out one book that was due back two days after I checked it out. So, my fees turned out to be $11. What kind of insane library charges a dollar per day for overdue fees?

But it turned out that said fees were absorbed into my bill. I was a happy camper. I went and got another Bob Dylan biography (I’ve checked out three but haven’t really read one), a guide to rock ‘n roll (a thick book), and a chronicle of The Rock Bottom Remainders, the band formed of Dave Berry, Stephen King, and other noted writers. I also got Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits, because some fucktard checked out and lost all of his albums last semester.

Then I started on laundry, which took five hours. Serious. I had the worst time finding a dryer, finally having to move somebody else’s clothes out of a one. Then, it took five runs through the dryers to clean two washersfull of clothes. One load just wouldn’t dry. I think some asshole came down in the middle of each of the first two runs, stopping the load and wasting a precious quarter of mine. They finally got done at 1:30, so now I can go to bed for the holiday.