Dave Short

The Leage of Extraordinairy Gentlemen looks to be a good flick. Anything with Sean “My Last Name Should Be the Final Word of a Spelling Bee” Connery is generally popcorn-worthy.

I’ve got a pet spider. Kind of. I first noticed him a week ago while I was eating lunch out of the back of Nellie. He was a big guy. Anyway, I had to tip the seats down so I could sit comfortably out of the back of the station wagon. As I was doing this, he scurried underneath the seat. At first I thought he would be pissed about his forced relocation, but I think he enjoys it.

Plus, he moved elsewhere of his own volition. Twice I’ve seen him scurrying behind the dashboard glass. I call him Norton, after Gleasom’s foil in The Honeymooners. Norton enjoys it in the car, I think. Can you imagine life forever on the road? There’s plenty of food, both in the form of candy that’s been in the ashtray for longer than my siblings have been alive to the many foolish dead insects who, in an attempt to get at that very candy, climb into the car through a window crack. Within seconds of being inside Nellie they are baked to a crisp. Norton doesn’t even have to cook.

In fact, I think he likes living in my dashboard so much that he’s been trying to ‘help out’ Nellie. I fancy that the kindly arachnid rolls back my odometer every once in a while. This is partly out of kindness to his more-than-benevolent master, but mostly because he wants said master to hold onto Nellie, lest he be sold to an oppressive overload who has an air freshener or — much worse — a bug bomb in his arsenal.

Today I got cut off in Hamilton. Norton was riding on the dashboard. I’m not sure because he’s tiny, but I think that a few of his eight legs were giving the finger.

In other news, tomorrow is the day of the river float. It looks like it’ll be pretty fun, assuming the weather holds. We’re floating from Woodside to Bell Crossing, about fifteen miles. I know for a fact that John, Shawn, Aaron, myself, and Laurel are going. There’s specualtion about whether Jillian, Meredith, Meghan, and I think Kelly are going. I have no friggin’ clue. John went to Helena today, and he’s not the best at organizing things, if you catch my drift. He’s a scatterbrain, alright?

I had a heavenly salad for lunch. Lettuce (duh!), olives, onions, cucumbers, two types of cheese — the list goes on and on! It filled me up so much that I could barely finish dinner.

I also got food for tomorrow. A thing of Coke, strawberries, grapes, Ritz, cheese (pepper jack!), hummus, and Teddy Grahams. It should be a yummy repast/snack.

Now I should go to bed. I have to get up at eight to shower and crap. I have to pick up Aaron at nine, stop by Shawn’s to see what he has in the way of river-worthy craft, and phone Laurel to make sure she actually gets up.